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Unless you’re a Black woman living under a rock, you should have heard of the Godfather, Kevin Samuels by now. If not, he’s an image consultant who recently broke the internet after calling my good chocolate sis, “average at best “. A lot of women were outraged at his comments towards her, but many were also left intrigued and wanting to know more of his thoughts.

While his comments are often triggering to most, his logic makes perfect sense. [I think that’s the reason people flock to him.]

My sister and I agreed that he sounds a lot like our dad lol.

But a few weeks ago, my best friend called me, and we had a chit chat about a few of his videos. We began to dive deeper into this idea about having it all, a thriving career, marriage, and family. Kevin Samuels believes that Black women lower their chances of having a healthy marriage and a family when they become laser focused on their career and/or business and education. But, I have to question whether these 2 things are directly related.

I’m leaning towards no; they aren’t directly related. Because he also claims that other ethnic groups of women don’t seem to have this same problem. 🤔

So, what is it with Black women?

Are we cursed? LOL, jkjk. But there has to be a reason why the more we become focused on our career, education, and growth within our Queendom, we are less likely to be married. Only 26% of Black women in the US are married.

Just speaking from my own experience,  I have to say that I definitely felt a God complex forming as my income and education level increased. And with that, I thought I would be more attractive to a man who could match or exceed my accomplishments.

I concluded from this observation that the lifestyle I’d created was not holding me back from “having it all”; it was the transformation of my attitude towards relationships with every new accomplishment that held me back. From that, I became so comfortable and content in my own company that having a relationship was an afterthought. 

That was all cute until the pandemic hit, I crashed my car, got fourloughed from work, and broken up with all within 3 weeks. I knew something had to change. 

 Here’s what I learned this year from Kevin Samuels…

Having it all isn’t going to just happen. We have to want it, work for it and be very intentional with all the things we want in life, including relationships. It’s important to treat the relationships we want with the same or more importance that we would a job interview or an exam.

The video below was very helpful to me and from the looks on the young lady’s face, it was a bit of a reality check for her. I’m curious to know your thoughts on having it all and if it’s truly attainable.

Can we have it all? Why or why not?  

Kevin Samuels and young lady on Facetime