Have you ever had a romantic connection with someone, but things never went past the friendship phase? You and this person have a strong attraction to one another, and the chemistry is top tier, but for whatever reason things don’t progress. Not only do things not progress, but you also end up in a situation where the dynamic has to change, and things become more uncomfortable. Now you’re left with having to learn how to get over someone you never dated.
And even though you weren’t actually dating this person, when things change, it still leaves an icky feeling and in more extreme cases, heartbreak.
Now you’re left with having to get over someone that you never dated.
But not to worry babes, I’m going to share 6 easy (kinda) steps to help you gracefully move through the complexities of being in a situationship.
1. Accept the situation for what it is.
Sometimes we begin to think irrationally when feelings are involved. You’ll know when you’re being irrational when 1 + 1 turns into a complex equation and continuing this path just doesn’t make sense anymore.
The best way to come to the realization that it’s not going to work is to step outside of your body mentally and emotionally and look at the facts of the situation.
I remember a time when I developed a relationship with someone who I was wildly attracted to. There was no intention from either of us from the beginning to fall for each other but naturally, it just happened.
The moment things started to get too intense, I had to step out of my emotions and look at the facts.
These are the questions I had to ask myself, and you should too if you’re in this situation:
- Does this relationship make sense?
- Can you see it long term?
- What does the future look like with this person?
- Is it lust?
Once you’re able to answer these questions, you’ll have a better idea of what you would be getting yourself into. And if you’re not okay with it, you have to accept the situation for what it is and prepare to get over this person.
Acceptance is key and is the starting point to your healing process.
2. Slow down communication with them.
Here’s the hard part. Slowing down on communication is one of the most difficult but most important things to do.
If you want to know how to get over someone you never dated, this is an essential part of the process. This doesn’t mean stop, it just means don’t speak as often as you did before. If it’s too hard to have a conversation without feeling uneasy, then yes, maybe stop all together.
However, if it’s not uneasy and you can value the bond without making things weird, then just slow it down a bit to fully get over them and move on.
3. Talk to someone about it. (not the person you want to get over)
You definitely want to get things off your chest so talk to someone about how you feel. Let them know where you are emotionally and where you wish to be in the future.
Find someone you trust who is NOT the person you’re trying to get over. This is important because you don’t want to further taint the relationship by dumping more negative emotions on it.
I only say negative because it would be a negative thing for the other person to hear that you’re trying to get over them.
How to Get Over Someone You Never Dated.
4. Shift your focus to something that makes you happy.
This is the perfect time to redirect your energy to the things that make you happy. Start doing more of your hobbies, exploring new platonic relationships, and spending time with people who love and appreciate you. How to get over someone you never dated.
Indulge in more positive experiences. Doing this basically helps to distract you from thinking about this person.
When you do the things you love to do, for some reason, time just seems to go by a little bit faster and it makes getting over someone that much easier.
Don’t force it, but maybe go out on dates with people who you can actually see a future with. It doesn’t really matter why you and this other person didn’t officially date, but whatever it was, it doesn’t define your potential to have other meaningful relationships.
5. Allow yourself to briefly feel every emotion.
It’s also very important to not dismiss your feelings. Your feelings are valid, and you should let yourself emote when you need to. Make it brief though sis, don’t drag it out.
Feel the feelings and move on. Give yourself a solid 30 days and that’s it. During this time, cry yourself to sleep, scream, be angry and do whatever you need to do.
This is all a release so you can move on the better things for yourself. Because honestly, it’ll eventually come out, so it’s best to release it immediately after so you won’t have these lingering feelings causing you discomfort.
6. Value yourself and what you bring to the table.
Ultimately, how to get over someone you never dated is by valuing yourself and what you bring to the table.
This goes back to accepting the situation for what it is and asking yourself those important questions. If your value is compromised in any way by participating in this situationship, then it’s time to move on. It’s time to courageously and confidently move on.
And girl, here’s the gag, yall not even in a relationship!! You should know what you bring to the table and never doubt the value of your presence. This step alone should give you the boost and jumpstart you need to get over this person.
In the end, it’s not about why things didn’t work out with someone, it’s about embracing the beautiful journey that lies ahead.
Amen, sis!!