You’ve been experiencing time the hard way. You’re living in the classical sense where becoming her feels like this long, heavy journey stretched out in front of you. Days turn into weeks, weeks into months, and you’re still waiting to arrive at that version of yourself who has it all together.
But here’s what I’m suggesting: what if time, in the quantum sense, is already laid out? What if she (the version of you that you’re chasing) already exists, and all you need to do is collapse into that reality right now? Not someday. Not when you lose the weight, get the promotion, or fix your life. Right now, like.. today.. .
January 31st 11am est, tap in with The Soft Life Social Club –> Secure Your Seat – Becoming Her: The Soft Rebrand – Social Link Room
The Bible says it plainly in Mark 11:24, “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Received. Past tense. It’s already done sista.
Becoming her is about the mindset switch that changes everything. Your mental health, your bank account, your relationships, your peace. All of it. Let me walk you through exactly how to make this switch.
Step 1: Understand That Your Words Are Creating Your Reality
The Power of Your Tongue
Sit with Proverbs 18:21 for a minute: “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Life and death. Not life and minor inconvenience.
Every time you say these things, you’re speaking death over your future:
- “I’m so broke”
- “I’m terrible at this”
- “I never get what I want”
- “I’m so fat”
If you want to become her… immediately stop the negative self-talk.
Additionally, when you speak of your desires as something in the distant future (months or years away), you’re not just describing a timeline, you’re creating one. You practice that script over and over: “When I finally…” “One day I’ll…” “Next year when…”
But here’s the thing: one day never comes. You never actually arrive at tomorrow, next month, or next year. You only ever exist in right now. So if you keep placing your desires in an imaginary future, you’ll always be reaching for something that stays perpetually out of reach.
How to Manifest the Relationship, Lifestyle, and Energy Shift You Actually Want – The Nerd Bae
Start Speaking Like Her
She doesn’t say “I hope this works out.” She says:
- “It’s already working out”
- “I’m exactly where I need to be”
- “I’m moving forward with clarity”
This is understanding that:
- Your words shape your beliefs
- Your beliefs shape your actions
- Your actions create your reality
Proverbs 23:7 reminds us, “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” Your internal dialogue is building the house you live in. Make sure you’re not constructing a prison.
Step 2: Recognize That You’re Your Own Worst Enemy (And Choose to Stop)
The Truth About Low Self-Concept
Let’s keep it real. The biggest obstacle between you and her is you. Not your circumstances, your past, nor the people who doubted you. You.
Your low self-concept creates:
- Self-sabotage when opportunities show up
- Unconscious financial choices that keep you broke
- Rejection of a easy life because it doesn’t match your identity
- A commitment to staying small because struggle feels familiar
Becoming Her Means Evicting Your Old Identity
That old version is comfortable. She knows the terrain of struggle. She’s built an entire personality around:
- Being the underdog
- Being the one who has it hard
- Being the one who just can’t catch a break
But that’s not you anymore. That’s not her.
Get Radically Honest With Yourself
Ask yourself:
- Am I complaining more than I’m creating?
- Am I scrolling more than I’m strategizing?
- Am I explaining why I can’t instead of figuring out how I can?
Becoming her means taking full responsibility. Not blame. Responsibility. Blame keeps you stuck in victim mode. Responsibility gives you power.
Step 3: Master the Art of Detachment (Because Desperation Repels Everything You Want)
Why Desperation Is Blocking Your Blessings
Here’s a truth that’ll set you free:
- Desperation repels
- Neediness repels
- Anxious energy repels
Everything you want is running away from the version of you that’s chasing it with clenched fists and shallow breathing.
What Detachment Actually Looks Like
Detachment is not giving up. It’s the ability to want something deeply while simultaneously being okay if it doesn’t happen exactly how you planned.
When you’re detached:
- You’re not refreshing your bank account every hour (you’re doing the work and trusting the process)
- You’re not performing for that man in hopes to get chosen (you’re just being, and that energy is magnetic)
The Biblical Blueprint
Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
There’s a peace that comes when you release the death grip. That peace is where she lives.
The Mars Perspective Shift
Practice detachment by zooming out. Imagine you’re on Mars looking at Earth through a telescope:
- Earth is a tiny blue dot
- Your current problem? A microscopic speck on that dot
- Your embarrassing moment? Invisible
- Your financial stress? A blip that won’t matter in five years
You’re a speck on a dot floating in infinite space, and somehow you’re worried about what Janet from accounting thinks about your presentation? Come on; stop it. Enjoy your life. Stop taking everything so seriously.
Step 4: Make the Shift
The Perception of Murphy’s Law
You know Murphy’s Law: “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.” You love to quote that when life gets hard, right? And then you stop and accept defeat.
But here’s what nobody talks about: there’s a flip side.
The Flip Side That Changes Everything
Becoming her is having the ability to identify those risks. If things can and will go wrong, then she’s already ten steps ahead mitigating those risks. That’s what she would do. She wouldn’t just complain (okay maybe a little, we’re just girls after all), but ultimately? She solves problems.
Project Manager Risk Management — Women Of Project Management
Think about your problems like this:
- If this bad thing can happen, then this good thing can also happen so what steps do I take right now to ensure I come out on the upside of this
- Maybe the bad thing that happened is actually setting up the good thing you didn’t even know was possible
Real Life Examples of the Flip
I’ve started applying this in real time:
- Missed the flight? Maybe the person I’m about to sit next to on the next flight is a connection that changes my life
- Didn’t get the job? Maybe that company is about to go under, and I just dodged a bullet
- Got my heart broken? Maybe I was being redirected to someone better who I wouldn’t have been available for if I was still stuck in that situation
She doesn’t spiral when something goes wrong. She asks, “What’s this making room for?” And then she keeps moving.
Step 5: Expand Your Perspective and Think Deeper
Going Beyond Surface Level
I’ve been reading Experiencing God with a friend lately, and we’ve started to uncover some questions that have allowed us to think deeper and expand our perspective on things. Not just surface-level spiritual talk, but real, meaty questions about: our life’s purpose and how our mindset either opens or closes the door to experiencing His presence.
Where We Limit Ourselves
One thing that keeps coming up: we limit God (and ourselves) by thinking too small.
We do this by:
- Asking for crumbs when He’s offering a feast
- Praying for survival when He’s offering abundance
- Seeing ourselves as barely getting by when He sees us as already victorious
The Spiritual Alignment
Becoming her requires you to expand your perspective:
- Stop thinking in lack
- Stop thinking in limitation
- Stop thinking you have to earn what’s already been given to you
Step 6: Understand the Mind-Body Connection
What Happens When You Don’t Make the Shift
When you stay stuck in low self-concept, anxiety, anger, and stress, your body keeps the score.
The domino effect:
- Chronic stress leads to inflammation
- Inflammation leads to illness
- Depression shows up as fatigue, body aches, digestive issues, and weakened immunity
- Unresolved anger manifests as tension headaches, high blood pressure, and autoimmune disorders
Your mental and emotional state directly impacts your physical health.
Becoming her isn’t just about:
- Leveling up your career
- Increasing your bank account
- Improving your relationships
It’s about saving your life.
The Physical Benefits of Becoming Her
When you shift your mindset, your body responds:
- You sleep better
- You have more energy
- You stop getting sick all the time
- You feel lighter
She’s not just mentally healthy. She’s physically healthy because she’s not carrying the weight of anxiety, bitterness, and self-sabotage in her body.
Step 7: Stop Taking Life So Seriously and Start Enjoying the Ride
The Final Piece
Becoming her means lightening up. Yes, there are real struggles. Yes, there are hard seasons. But you’re also making it harder than it needs to be by:
- Overthinking
- Over-stressing
- Over-performing
What She Actually Does Differently
She operates from a different energy:
- She laughs more
- She plays more
- She doesn’t take every setback as a personal attack from the universe
- She knows that life is happening for her, not to her
- She is grateful in all seasons
The Shift That Changes Everything
What Becoming Her Actually Looks Like in Practice
She wakes up and speaks life over her day before her feet hit the floor:
- She doesn’t scroll social media first thing and start the comparison game… if she’s on social media, her algorithm is showing her inspirational quotes, yummy and healthy meal ideas, or fitness routines
- She protects her peace like it’s her job because it is
Her energy is different:
- She doesn’t chase, she attracts and aligns
- She doesn’t beg, she chooses and she’s very selective
- She doesn’t shrink, she expands and pushes past her limits
Her Foundation
She knows that her worth isn’t tied to:
- Her productivity
- Her relationship status
- Her bank account
She knows she’s already enough, and everything else is just extra.
Her Daily Practice
She operates from faith:
- She trusts the process even when it doesn’t make sense
- She thanks God for what’s already done even when she can’t see it yet
- She walks in faith, not fear
The Decision You Make Every Single Day
Becoming her isn’t a destination. It’s a decision you make every single day.
It’s the choice to:
- Speak life instead of death
- Detach instead of desperately cling
- Zoom out instead of spiral
- Trust the flip side of negative outcomes
- Expand your perspective
- Protect your mental and physical health
- Enjoy your life instead of white-knuckling your way through it
The timeline where you’re already her? It exists. Not someday. Not when you’re ready. Right now.
So stop waiting. Stop preparing. Stop planning for some future version of yourself who finally has permission to thrive.
Start becoming her now.
